My baby. License and registration right meow.
First things first. I want to say thank you for all of the support and love. It’s been moving and much appreciated. The same goes to all of the people in my life who’ve been there for me. I’m finally back after my long hiatus.
I did an outpatient dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) program. DBT is like cognitive behavioral therapy mixed with zen, so it was cool. While I wouldn’t say I’m 100-percent mentally stable, I am feeling better. I spent at least a month of my life on the couch from the side effects of new medications and then the withdrawal when they inevitably didn’t work. Bipolar pill cocktails are no joke. I’m still on the same shit I was when I went in, but now I have a whole world of skills to use when I’m feeling crazy.
Anyway, on to the felines. I heard of cats in nursing homes sensing when a resident was going to die and curling up on their bed with them until they passed away. I find that almost other-worldly and it makes me tear up a little. People always tell me that my cat is mean. She hates children, blocks their path when they try to walk by her, and then hisses at them and scratches their little hands and legs, completely unprovoked. She isn’t really into people.
My sister would come over and sit down and out of nowhere something would grab on to her ponytail and just slam her head into the back of the couch. It was reminiscent of a horror movie. But it was just my little Jasmine showing her love for her aunt.
She doesn’t like to cuddle. She plays rough. When she’s hungry and I’m sleeping she crawls up under the covers and sticks her claws into the bottoms of my toes. The things everyone views as her personality defects are the reasons I love her. I’m weird. Why wouldn’t my cat be a little eccentric? She’s my fur baby and has converted me into a raving cat lady. She loves me in her own way. She follows me room to room, albeit at a distance, cries when I leave, and waits by the door when I come home.
While I’m constantly kicking my intuition in the throat and second guessing myself, my regal cat’s intuition is on point. One might not expect a lot of empathy or compassion on her part. They would be wrong. As seen in one of my last posts, I’ve been sad. She hasn’t left my side. The whole time I was on the couch crying, sleeping, and/or throwing up, she rested right above me. When I curled up under my covers in bed, she nestled up against my legs. When I paced the house endlessly because of the hell known as akathisia, she paced with me.
They say petting an animal triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine in your brain. Well, I pet the shit out of her to soak up as many feel good chemicals as I could. I know it’s going to sound crazy, but that ball of fur, paws, and whiskers truly helped me. For that, I’m buying her a brand new cat fountain.
“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.”- Hippolyte Taine
Old Hippolyte was wise as hell.
Interesting little friend you have there! It’s amazing how those creatures warm our hearts and calm our minds. Best wishes to you and your cat. :O)
Thank you Shell. She is an odd one, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
this post made me: laugh; cry; learn a new word. back in action and on point, mofos.
Haha. I’m glad you enjoyed it. What new word did you learn? That makes me feel so special.
akathisia: a syndrome characterized by unpleasant sensations of inner restlessness that manifests itself with an inability to sit still or remain motionless (hence the word’s origin in Ancient Greek: from καθίζειν – kathízein – “to sit” with a privative a as prefix expressing negation or absence; literally meaning inability to sit). It can be a side effect of medications, or it can, to a lesser extent, be caused by Parkinson’s disease and related syndromes,[1] and likely other neurological diseases. (Thank you Wikipedia. Gotta start making donations.)
Oh Wikipedia. I get stuck in the Wikipedia vortex all of the time. Reading something, clicking on a link, reading that, clicking on a link, and before you know it, I’m filled with useless information. It doesn’t quite capture the hell with the skin crawling, internal discomfort, anxiety, etc. But that’s the gist.
That is a good word, even if it falls short of the full experience. Oh, words… you are so wonderful and so inadequate at the same time.
So glad to hear that you’re doing better. Welcome back.
Why thank you! It’s good to be back. Now I’m catching up on everyone’s adventures while I was on hiatus.
I had a cat – a big one. He was the best hunter cat I’ve ever see. He always ate what he killed. He’d kill a squirrel and eat it – start at the ears and work his way back. I’ve seen him jump into the air and take a low-flying bird. He clawed the shit out of my hand on more than one occasion. Didn’t want to be petted. Our house was basically just a daytime crash pad, so he could hunt at night. He was a good guy; he just didn’t like being messed with. I miss him.
It’s really, really good to have you back.
I had a cat like that once too! He was the meanest cat on the block and never came inside. One Christmas I went outside to find that he had left a dead squirrel on the porch for us. Very thoughtful. My cat claws the shit out of me at least once a week. That doesn’t deter me from forcing her to cuddle though. It’s good to be back!
I call my dog a therapy dog. Even though she mostly just curls up and snores. Welcome back.
Thank you! Even just looking at a pet is therapeutic. I would love to have a huge farm with dozens of rescued cats,dogs, and horses. I think I would be completely and utterly sane with the amount of paws and fur running around.
welcome back to blogworld and a great one to re-emerge with x
Why thank you sir. Nothing better than the “tail” of an intuitive cat.
Colgore!!!! I have missed you terribly and I hope you felt all the kitty-like goodness traveling from me to you over the last few months. It’s clear that you and your cat have a good thing going and it’s also clear that more dealing-with-life-skills can be really useful. I’m doing my best to amass an arsenal of such skills. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!!!!!!!
Thank you! I’ve missed you as well. It took me my entire life to put dealing-with-life-skills into action but they are pretty useful so far. Everything I learned was closely linked to yoga teachings so it kind of just gave me that extra push. From reading your blog you’ve amassed a pretty impressive arsenal. Maybe you can be my guru?
heh heh, guru. I guess I can be in the most literal sense of the word. If anything that comes through my fumbly process of attempting to figure out this life stuff and it sheds some light on your path, then heck yeah! I’m your guru.
“The syllable gu means shadows
The syllable ru, he who disperses them,
Because of the power to disperse darkness
the guru is thus named.
— Advayataraka Upanishad 14—18, verse 5″
and yeah, that totally came from wikipedia.
Doesn’t sound crazy at all to me, I’m feel the same way about my dog- who is also crazy. It’s nice to have you back
Thank you so much! I’ve never had a “normal” pet. I find the crazier they are, the more endearing they are.
This was fun! I love your zany and have missed your rhetoric
Sooooo glad you’re back in a million fragments or one. You are cherished simply for who you are. Seems Jasmine feels the same, quirky as she may be. Originality is NOT overrated in my book! Muah and hugz and feline love to you from here to there and around again xoxox
Thank you t.dot my love! Jasmine and I are two peas in a pod. I’m sending some furball love your way as well. Meow.
Good to hear from you again. I would love to pet the shit out of a cat but they make me sneeze too much.
Late reply! Sorry about that. Why thank you. It’s good to be back. That sucks about your cat allergy. They’re so soft and their ears kill me. Depending on the season and amount of shedding I have a slight allergy too. But it’s not bad enough for me to stop forcing my cat to cuddle.